i remember it, all too well.
i have lots of other things to post on my blog site like the T-Party, when i had a two-week misunderstanding with my close friend, my so-called mentor's post-birthday celebration, the day i said sorry to my close friend, the story of how our simple train ride became epic, and lots more. but recently, i experienced something that is somewhat more worth blogging for. maybe because i can no longer hold back the emotions i have been keeping inside ever since. i never thought that this would happen to me. i really feel bad about it.
"wala naman akong alam sa mga sinasabi nya. pero nakakalungkot lang pag naiisip kong ako lang yung pwedeng matamaan nung sinabi nya. andami ko ng problema dumadagdag ka pa. naiintindihan ko naman na hindi madali yung nangyari sayo pero putting the blame on someone either directly or indirectly, nakaka-offend lang. nahihiya na ko kila ate kase pinilit ko sila sumama sakin. lumalabas na nararanasan nila yung ganitong klaseng pagpapahirap dahil sakin. alam ko namang hindi mo kami gusto kasama pero para iparamdam mo yun araw araw, nakakabigat ng pakiramdam. naaapektuhan yung buong araw ko. pakiramdam ko guilty ako sa isang bagay na hindi ko alam na nangyari pala. siguro masama na yung tingin sakin ng ibang tao pero wala na ko magagawa dun, nirerespeto ko yun. basta alam kong nagtitiwala sakin yung mga kaibigan ko, okay na ko dun."
this italicized part of this blog is supposedly my facebook post. but i decided to put it in here, to make it clearer. here's what happened. lor lost his 2000 pesos which, according to him was kept inside his bag in the living room. actually it was 18k, and when he looked at his money again, only 16k showed up. of course there is no one to blame inside the house except me. (he's freaking crazy if he thought his own brother took it.) he didn't say it to me directly but conveyed his message plastered on the wall.
i know that i know nothing about this but reading this makes me feel like i'm guilty. get my point? I'M SO GUILTY WITH A FUCKING THING THAT I NEVER DID! i even tweeted a really harsh statement when i found out about this. not because i'm guilty but because i can't stand it anymore. can you imagine how extremely outraged i was about this. ugh.
i know somehow that i should have not tweeted that. but can you blame me? i was caught unguarded. felt like i was betrayed. i became so vulnerable that time that i wanna hit him and say. fuck you for this! you deserve that. and if i really took your money, you'll never have it again, i swear!
when this incident happened, i came to realize that it's more than easy for some persons to blame others without having any proof in hand. simply relying on what they want to believe in. without thinking that simply blaming an innocent person is way too painful and depressing at the same time.
but looking into the brighter side of it, (goodness, can't believe i realized something good about this horror) maybe this will also serve a lesson for me and as well as to other people who are reading this. before you conclude something, be sure you can support your conclusion till the very end, because wrong judgement over others, is not just painful, but also hurtful to the mind, heart, body, and soul of that person. if this would ever happen to me, at least i know how to handle this, i won't blame someone instantly, like what he did to me, because for a fact, i know how it feels to be accused and blamed with something you know you didn't do.
being accused just like that is not easy to forget. because up to now, i still remember it. ALL TOO WELL.