MARKA

"Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ililipat through this post lahat ng thoughts and emotions na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Halos lahat sila sabay sabay na umaagaw ng atensyon ko. Bawat isa ayaw magpatalo. Kaya sa huli ako ang talunan. Right now, i have lots of questions in the back of my mind and unfortunately no one is here to answer them. Gusto ko na talaga umiyak ngayon dahil sa mga misfortunes ko ngayong araw na to kaso masyado na kong pagod physically at emotionally. Umaasa akong sana lahat ng to panaginip ko lang, para pwede ko pa mabago lahat ng nangyari sakin ngayon. If only i could turn back time."

Eto yung nasimulan kong blog kagabi kaso hindi ko na naituloy dahil na-mental block ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan i-share sa inyo kung paano biglang nasira lahat ng pangarap ko na sinabayan pa ng isang kamalasan. Two birds in one shot.

Una, nagkaron ako ng TRES na grade sa Total Quality Management subject namin. Maliban sa first time ko magkaron ng ganitong kababang grade, itong grade na ito rin yung nagwasak sa nagsisimula ko pa lang na pangarap. Maging Cum Laude pag-graduate ko (third year pa lang ako).

15.1 The College Dean \Branch Director, in close coordination with the University Registrar, shall recommend a student who completes his baccalaureate course with any of the following weighted average to be graduated with honors:

15.1.1 Summa cum Laude (1.19 to 1.00)
15.1.2 Magna cum Laude (1.44 to 1.20)
15.1.3 Cum Laude (1.75 to 1.45)

15.2 The guidelines on graduation with honors shall be as follows:

15.2.1 Only final grades shall be considered in the computation of the general average.
15.2.2 A student's final grades during his last school term shall be submitted thirty (30) days before the graduation.
15.2.3 In the computation of the final averages of a candidate for graduation with honors, grades in all accredited academic subjects in the curriculum shall be included.
15.2.4 Every candidate for graduation with honors must:

1. Have carried the normal load prescribed in his curriculum, except in the last semester. In the night school, fifteen (15) units per semester shall be considered the normal load.
2. Have completed in the University at least seventy-five percent (75%) of the total number of the academic units or hours required for graduation.
3. Have been in residence for at least three (3) years immediately prior to graduation.
4. Have no final grade lower than "2.5" and/or "Incomplete" in any academic subject whether prescribed or not in his curriculum which he/she has taken in the University, or in any other educational institution.
5. Have no final grade of "5.0" in any academic and non-academic subjects prescribed in his curriculum which he/she has taken in the University or in any other educational institution.
6. Have not repeated a subject in other educational institution.

Ayan. Nung nalaman ko yung general weighted average ko simula first year first sem hanggang third year first sem na 1.694 nagkaroon ako ng goal first time in my college life na maging cum laude man lang pag-graduate. Pasok grades ko sa bracket na pang cum laude, rank 4 pa ako sa room namin. :) I'm the man! Kaso lahat ng yun nasira ng dahil sa TQM grade ko. Bigla ako nawalan ng gana, yung feeling na parang wala na ring sense kung mag-aral ako ng mabuti this coming school year. Yun bang kahit uno ako sa lahat ng subjects ko e wala na rin silbi kasi hindi naman ako magiging cum laude. Gusto ko sana surprise yun sa mga magulang ko, kasi naisip ko parang yun na lang yung way ko of saying thank you sa pagpapa-aral nila sakin. Tapos biglang nawala. I asked my best friend what went wrong. Pero alam ko naman talaga kung ano ang nangyari kung bakit ganyan grade ko kaso hindi ako ganoong kalakas para harapin yung naging pagkakamali ko. Gusto ko isisi sa prof ko yung naging kapalaran ng grades ko pero alam ko naman na mas malaki ang naging responsibilidad ko kung bakit yun nagkaganun.

From this point, hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, kung ano ang gagawin ko, o kung may magagawa pa ba ako tungkol dito. Should i do something about it, or keep it the way as it is?

Ikalawa, hindi pa ako tapos sa dilemma ko tungkol sa grade ko sa TQM, ng mapansin kong nawawala na pala yung iPhone ko! Tengene lang yan oh. Kailangan ba pag minamalas sabay sabay? hindi ba pwedeng isa isa lang muna? Ang hirap e. Call Center Agent din ako, just so you know. Sinasabi ko to kasi nung nalaman ko yung grade ko sa TQM e nasa office ako nun. Makikita naman kasi yung grades namin through OL. At sa sobrang depressed ko nung time na yun, hindi ko na napansin na may malikot na kamay na pala na kumuha ng iPhone ko sa station ko. wtf. Sinubukan kong tawagan yung phone ko pero wala na. Unattended na. Alam na!

Halos one year and four months din ang pinagsamahan namin ng iPhone ko. Tapos nanakawin lang? Mas okay pa sana na nasira lang e. Kaso hindi, ninakaw, sa office pa. Pambihira. Kapag nga naman tinamaan ka ng kamalasan, mapapa-P*TANGINA ka na lang.

Sa mga nangyari sakin, hindi ko alam kung ano na ang gagawin ko. Masyado akong mahina para harapin pa yung mga yon. Pero minsan, KAILANGAN DIN NG LAKAS PARA SABIHING MAHINA KA. Siguro yung depression ko ngayon lilipas din, pero yung mga nangyaring to sakin habang buhay na magmamarka sa alalala ko.

MY CHRISTMAS WISHLIST

Christmas is a time of renewal. A time when the best in humanity is called forth amid the safety of traditions. A time when it feels good to give, when grievances are abolished, when Heaven comes to Earth for a moment.

We tend to think of Christmas as a time for children, but what if Christmas gives each of us the opportunity to be the Child? To have wise men bring priceless gifts to us, to be held by an adoring mother and father while shepherds and other good folk admire us, to feel that everything will be okay...forever? What if Christmas is a chance to start fresh? Clean slate. New.

During Christmas Season, i used to make a wishlist, more like a Christmas Wishlist. Written in there are the material things i wanted to have on Christmas Day. Writing the wishlist comes with hoping and praying that at least one or two of those will happen. I always pray and believe that Santa Clause would read it and grant my wishes, though i have some childish doubts that maybe Santa  couldn't give me my gifts because we don't have a chimney or he cannot come in because my parents are still up and things like that.

Time passed by and now i know that Santa Clause isn't real. it happened one Christmas eve, i saw my parents putting the gifts under the Christmas tree, maybe trying to make us believe that Santa went inside the house when we're asleep and put the gifts there. Though i know the truth behind the jolly old man, that didn't stop me from believing in him, it even changed my selfish materialistic wishlist into a noble one and i felt awesome about it! :)

1) i want a new pair of RED KEDS. but a pair of slippers for the barefooted children in the sidewalk would be much better.

2) i want to have a BLACKBERRY PHONE. but seeing all people smile at me with no hatred inside their hearts is the best means of communication ever that no single phone can do.

3) i want to go ABROAD. but seeing a mother and her lost child reunite in an empty street on a Christmas day would be the best.

4) i want new BRANDED SET OF CLOTHES. but by realizing that most street children always spend the night fighting with the tremendous coldness of the night, a pair of clothes for them would seem right.

5) i want a new JANSPORT BAG. but upon looking at a poor child wandering around the street and with nothing to eat makes me think that a bag of food for him and his family will be better.

6) i want to go to CHRISTMAS CONCERTS. but events that involves helping street children during Christmas Season is way more awesome than ever.

7) i want a MACBOOK. but a set  of knowledgeable books that less fortunate kids could use would be much better.

8) i want our house to be filled with LUMINOUS CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. but  upon looking at the other side of the street, there lies a family that even barely see each other because of the blinding darkness all over the place, making me realize that sharing light with them would be cooler than Christmas lights.

9) i want a new DSLR. but thinking that making a hopeless street child smile amid this unfair world would be a heart-warming feeling..

10) i want to have a LUXURIOUS NOCHE BUENA. but thinking that a poor family is spending the Christmas Eve outside the street with nothing to eat, not even a single loaf, it would be best if we learn to share what we have.

You see Christmas isn't always just about thinking what you want, it's about doing what is good. it's a perfect time for all of us to sit down, to think and to thank God for all the blessings we receive from Him no matter a big or small it is. sometimes, making a simple wishlist makes us realize that sometimes there are things in life that we thought we don't have yet, but in reality, we already have them. maybe not in the form we expected it to be, but in the form that particular thing should be.

yes, i know the truth behind the jolly old man, but that truth didn't stop me from believing in Santa and the power of the Christmas Season- the kind of joy it brings to everyone, either fortunate or not.

Christmas time is Wishlist time.  

Let the listing begins!

THE LUCKY ONES

and the camera flashes, make it look like a dream.

it was november 28, 2012, wednesday to be exact when osang jem yyen and i decided to bring to life our “it’s okay to treat yourself” day. among our 250 something restaurant partners, we decided to go to BANAPPLE, in greenhills. i thought this day would be boring, if not, ordinary. But as i step inside banapple, i suddenly realized that everything is happening the other way around. no exact word can explain what I felt that day, but I know one thing is for sure, it was more awesome than awesome. :D

banapple, AT FIRST GLANCE

AT FIRST GLANCE, BANAPPLE IT IS! :)

Our way to banapple was as easy as living in HELL. Tremendous heat is a welcoming site. And what made it worse? It took us almost an hour before we got ourselves at the café. We reached the place, but still we cannot order. Why? We’re waiting for yyen. It was 3.30 pm that time. While waiting, my peers took random photos. (friends surely know how to spend time waiting.) I was starting to get a bit irritated by the scenario of us waiting in vain while the café’s staff looking at us. I was wondering what was running on their mind that time. Maybe, they wanna ask us if we will order or we went there just to sit and wait for someone. (yung tingin na nakikiupo lang naman ata kami at walang balak umorder. Haha kahiya na kami.)

one of the staff there, gave us the menu, expecting us to order right away. lol

WHEN SOMEONE GIVES YOU THE MENU, IT'S LIKE ORDER NOW OR LEAVE NOW.

Waiting in there and doing nothing is killing me. So I brought up the idea of ordering our drinks first while waiting. We decided to buy iced chocolate.

UNDENIABLY CHOCOLATEY. :D

Iced chocolate. The taste of it is not exactly what I thought it would taste like. It’s not that it’s not scrumptious. it is. but I was just expecting a bit more from it. I’m a little upset about that. On the other hand, what else could I possibly expect? It’s chocolate. Nothing more, nothing less. I could really say that despite that, iced chocolate is very effective to ease someone’s thirst. :D

Time check, it was past 5pm when yyen arrived. (I almost thought she won’t show up. HAHAHAHA) that’s the go signal for us to order.

thinking that my friends will buy the best seller, i tried a different slice of cake which is the oreo brownie fudge cheesecake.

ONE SLICE OF CAKE  FOR A WHOLE DAY OF FULL SMILES! :)

the very thing which made me decide to try this cake is the oreo on top of it. i was expecting a whole oreo biscuit in the slice but only got the half of it. i was like "whoah. you got me there." and what amazed me also is the almost 1.5 inches icing of the slice. it was aslo sprinkled with pulverized oreo. if you have a poor appetite, be sure to have a partner when you wanna try this cake.

osang jem and yyen go for the banoffe pie, the cafe's best seller.

IF YOU HAVE THE BEST SELLER, WHY CARE FOR THE REST?

banoffee pie. at first look, the oreo brownie fudge cheesecake i bought was more appealing to the eye than the best seller itself. but when i got to taste it, a realization came to me instantly. what i like about this cake is the crispy chocolate on top of it. i like it than the cake it self. lol upon tasting it, i realized why  banoffee pie is banapple's best seller. i tasted something in it and i don't know what it is. maybe that's the secret of it. beauty over mysteriousness. terrific.

yyen doesn't want a cold drink so decided to buy a hot coffee. (old people likes that. HAHAHAHA)

CAFE LATTE BY SIX IN  THE EVENING? YEAH, NOT A WORD FOR IT! :)

4-5 packs of sugar to ease the pungent taste? yyen can certainly do that. the coffee part of the latte was overpowering, which makes it bitter. but it's good. the cafe latte itself was actually tasty. the bitter part was the after taste of it. that's were you will taste the bitterness. maybe it wasn't just really my kind of taste.

we were halfway eating the slices when someone ordered lasagna roll ups. by the time we looked at it, that's the time we made up our mind that we will order the same item.

ADMIT IT. YOU'RE A VICTIM OF THE ITS DELIGHTFUL AROMA! :)

EAT.EAT.EAT. now who wants greenwich's lasagna? HAHA yes. greenwich's lasagna is still better than that of banapple's lasagna roll ups. that's for sure. but of course that doesn't make lasagna roll ups less delicious over others. it's mouth-watering in its own way. :D one order of it is enough to feed 1-2 persons. i expected too much from it, so guess it's the reason why i get a little upset about it.

and there is a particular view in the cafe which made us really happy. somehow we realized that we are part of a big family. here it is.

HELLO! WE DELIVER TWOANYONE! HOW MAY I HELP YOU? :)

we really enjoyed our stay at banapple. our stay there was priceless. we will sure to come back there! :)

SWEET NOTHINGS TO THE ONES WHO MADE US FEEL SO SPECIAL THAT NIGHT! :)

RANDOM PHOTOS showing how much we feel welcomed at banapple. :D

 I'M HAPPY, FREE, CONFUSED AND LONELY AT THE SAME TIME.

it feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of our exes.
it feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight and fall in love with strangers.

SIMPLE BUT SOPHISTICATED.

I'M HAPPY, YOU'RE SAD, I'M SOMEBODY, YOU'RE NOBODY.

GUESS WE'RE ALL TRAPPED IN A CYCLE CALLED LIFE. WHAT ABOUT THAT?

IT FEELS LIKE ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS, WE DITCHED THE WHOLE SCENE.

YES WE'RE MEAN. BUT YOU, ALL YOU ARE IS A LIAR, PATHETIC, AND ALONE IN LIFE.

to sum of it all, i really enjoyed this adventure with my MEANion friends. this one day millionaire experience of us is all worth it! :) efforts paid off. you will realize that some miserable and magical things are happening in your life right now. you will not see it the way it should be unless you start living your life the way you wanted it to be.

we have each other side by side, we are happy and we are mean because we are the MEANions, and we are THE LUCKY ONES.

now, are you the lucky one? :)